It’s OK to be the Single One

Single Photo 5
Cardigan: J. Crew | Top: Francesca’s Collections, Old (similar) | Shorts: Victoria’s Secret PINK, Old, (similar) | Necklace: Kendra Scott | Watch: Kate Spade | Book: Barnes & Noble

Being single isn’t the end of the world, in fact is is just the opposite. I’ve always been “the single one” out of my friends and family members. I frequently am asked if I have a boyfriend yet and when I answer my usual “no,” I receive a lot of mixed reactions – sad puppy dog eyes of family members that sorry for me, blank stares from those trying to figure out what is wrong with me and why I’m single, and the “you’re so lucky” statements from friends that are having their own relationship problems.

So, why am I single you ask? I’m single because I’m in my early twenties, just starting my last year of college, and the last thing I want to add to my plate is a relationship. I’m single because I wake up every day telling myself that today is the day I am going to get my sh*t together, and never actually do, but I’m okay with it because the only person I need to worry about is myself. Every time my mom tells me I need a boyfriend, I tell her I don’t need one because I’m already dating myself. But don’t get me wrong, I do have those days that I wish I had a significant other to spend time with, share memories with, and to cook for me when I’m too lazy to get out of bed – but those days are few and far between.

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I’ve recently become more aware of the negative stigmas that follow women into the dating world, and frankly, it pisses me off. Even though I’m all for girl power, I would never consider myself a feminist, but this is one topic that really pushes my buttons and I don’t think it’s talked about enough. I think it’s ridiculous that girls are expected to date through high school and college. Hello, have you seen how immature teenagers are? Who wants to deal with it? Not me. And why is there such a pressure for high school students to go to prom with a date that is the opposite sex? I can tell you right now that I never had a male date for prom and I had the best time of my life and I don’t regret it for a minute.

Here are eight why it’s OK to be the single one:

REASON NUMBER ONE: You learn to be independent, which is a great quality to have
 
REASON NUMBER TWO: You never have to justify or explain your actions
 
REASON NUMBER THREE: You have unlimited “me time”
 
REASON NUMBER FOUR: You’re not tied down so you can take risks and leaps of faith
 
REASON NUMBER FIVE: You can discover your passions
 
REASON NUMBER SIX: Binge watching Netflix is 10x more acceptable because there’s no one judging you
 
REASON NUMBER SEVEN: As a young adult, it’s important to take time to discover who you are
 
REASON NUMBER EIGHT: It gives you time to learn about other people in your life
 
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If you take anything away from this post, I hope you realize it’s OK to be the single one. Embrace it! If your friends and family members ask you why you don’t have the significant other, stand up for yourself, share with them how you’re embracing the single life, and most importantly – make them wish they were as independent as you!
How do you embrace the single life?
XO, Rachel
 
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10 Comments

  1. September 8, 2015 / 9:07 AM

    Snuck away to the bathroom of the business building to read this and I'm not even single. This is brilliant, it needs to be published in Glamour or Marie Claire, I'll make a call. XOXO

  2. September 8, 2015 / 11:03 AM

    I have been single for a little over 3 years now, and honestly they have been the best 3 years ever! I have been able to be more spontaneous. Embraced more friendships. I was even able to move cities to help my mom out, because there was nothing holding me back in my own city. And youre right, there are times that I wish I could do some things with a significant other, but when you weigh that in with everything…I think I good for now.

  3. September 8, 2015 / 12:10 PM

    LOVE this post! I just wrote about why I'm happy I started college single, and even though I'm married now I 100% agree with everything you wrote. Amen to your first point–I hate seeing girls who are so dependent on their boyfriends that they don't know who they are without them. Being single is so important. I don't think that I would have been ready for my marriage if I hadn't had great single time to make sure I knew who I was, independent of any guy.
    Rebecca Lindenbach

  4. September 8, 2015 / 12:23 PM

    YOU ARE SO KIND GIRL! What's with the stereotype that girls need to have a boyfriend and if they don't, something must be wrong with them?!

    Xo, R

  5. September 8, 2015 / 12:24 PM

    I've been single for almost 3 years now, too! Absolutely loving it – focusing on myself, what I enjoy doing, and most importantly, my family. College is such a learning experience, I'm not against dating, but I think it can be beneficial to be single so that you can get the whole experience and learn about all sorts of people and places!

    Xo, R

  6. September 8, 2015 / 12:26 PM

    Rebecca! The link isn't working! Send it to me in an e-mail so I can read it (rachbarrymartin@gmail.com).

    I think being single really helps in the independence aspect of things just because you shouldn't need to rely on someone, and once you do, you want to make sure you are comfortable with yourself so that if God forbid anything happens – you can do it on your own!

    Xo, R

  7. September 8, 2015 / 8:35 PM

    Amen sista! SO much of what you said in this post resonates with me. As young women, in today's world especially, we have so many things on our plate and are most successful when we have a thorough understanding of ourselves. More people need to be comfortable with who they are!

    xo.

    http://apeachysonder.blogspot.com

  8. September 8, 2015 / 9:21 PM

    Two words: GIRL POWER.

  9. September 9, 2015 / 12:23 PM

    Love this! I'm the "single one" in the group of my friends from college and I always seem to be the one having the most fun and enjoying life. Everything you wrote is 100% true!

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